Stop “Playing House,” Commit to Marriage or move on!
We all want to find a love that lasts, and in this current culture of a high percentage of marriages ending in divorce, there can be a lot of fear of committing to someone in marriage. This can lead to couples doing what I call “PLAYING HOUSE.”
Playing house is trying to take the benefits of marriage without the commitment of marriage.
Playing house looks like this:
Having sex before marriage
Living together before marriage
Delaying marriage (but wanting the other to stay committed)
Sometimes, the logic of trying something before we buy it seems like it should apply to marriage, but that works for a car, not for a husband or wife—at least not in the way we think.
I do think you should try out the relationship in the sense that you spend time with and get to know the honest and true version of the individual to see if they are the one you want to marry.
Observe That Potential Wife/Husband:
With their family
During Church
Under Stress
Who their friends
Who their pastors/mentors are
But if trying out the relationship means having sex, then you’re about to build on the wrong foundation. Yes, having great sex is an amazing part of marriage, but in my wife and my experience and many others, great sex builds over the years. So, kissing someone or having sex with them is not some magical test that you will be a good match for each other.
Trying out the “benefits” of marriage is unwise and unnecessary. You’ll want to test that they are the right person by, yes, ATTRACTION! But, the other areas of character and personality are massive.
Get the amen/approval of the others in your world, quality friends, parents, and pastors.
Research has shown that living together before marriage actually increases your chances of divorce.
Now, what about SEX?! Can’t we just have a little fun? Well, the Bible is clear to keep that only within marriage. Sex, in God’s eyes, is the beginning of marriage. God does something supernatural and natural in sex. It brings us together physically and spiritually. So, there is no such thing as casual sex. In every sense of the word, sex ties you to the other person.
For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.’ So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.
Mark 10:7-9 NIV
No matter how hard it is to wait till marriage to enjoy the benefits, it will be worth it. Now, you might say, “let’s be real, no one makes it to the wedding without having had sex anymore.” Well, it may be true that we don’t hear about it as much in today’s culture, but those committed to God’s way can, and my wife and I are an example of a couple that made it to our wedding night without having slept with each other or anyone else. And If you haven’t yet given away the old V-card, trust me, it’s worth the wait!
And if you have already moved in with your girlfriend or already having sex, the good news is this: you can repent today and commit to honoring God and your future spouse! There’s No condemnation about the past; let’s live in the present and set ourselves up for an incredible and beautiful marriage together!
Staying faithful to God’s Word will help you stay faithful in marriage!
